Building Resilience
by Sinead O’Brien
1. At some point in your creative career you’re going to be rejected.
When it happens, you might feel paranoid, “Is there something I did wrong? Does somebody not like me?”
You might question everything, “Is this where I should be? Should I be doing something different?”
Sadly, a huge amount of genuine talent leaves the industry as a result of rejection.
2. Most successful creatives have been rejected many times.
In my experience as a writer and filmmaker, for every successful project there have been at least 10 that have been rejected.
When you see someone who is doing well, you can guarantee they’ve had projects that didn’t work along the way.
Understand that rejection is part of the creative’s journey no matter what level you’re at.
3. Rejection is not personal, it’s business.
If you’re in the arts, you’re putting yourself professionally and emotionally out there. You pour your heart and soul into your work so it hurts deeply when it’s rejected.
Usually it’s not about you, they’re just not looking for what you’re doing at a particular time.
4. Treat yourself like a business when you’re putting yourself into the world.
When you’re creating something and in a creative flow, think of yourself as an artist.
When you’re applying for funding, organising tours and payment, think of yourself as a business.
Detaching the two is difficult.
5. Wallow in your rejection for a little while.
Crawl into a hole, feel really sorry for yourself. Allow yourself to be completely and utterly vulnerable.
Be good to yourself during this time. Do what eases you out of that negative space – go for a walk, spend time with friends, go to the cinema.
The trick is not to wallow for too long. If every single time you crawl into a hole and don’t come back out again, it’ll be really hard to have any longevity in your career.
6. Don’t wait around anticipating emails/phone calls.
Get on with other things. Find something else to throw yourself into after you’ve submitted an application or gone for an audition or interview.
If you’re sitting waiting, you’re in a negative zone, you’re doubting yourself, and so the moment it doesn’t work out, you fall flat.
Keep yourself busy. If you’re doing a lot, then a lot more will happen for you.
7. It’s a small, tough industry; don’t be getting annoyed at people.
Nothing good will happen for you while you’re in a negative, bitter and resentful space.
Don’t be bitter towards your peers, they’ve likely been rejected as much as you have.
The very first thing you should do when you hear someone you know has received an award you went for, is congratulate them. It makes you feel better and will help you move on.
If you give off positive vibes, that energy will come back to you.
8. Help people and ask people for help
Keep that pond of positivity moving around you. It will make you feel more positive about your work and you won’t get embittered.
9. Turn the negative outcome into positive energy.
Go back to a project with fresh eyes: Am I able to fix it following feedback and apply elsewhere?
Maybe change the format. Bring it down another avenue. What else could your project be? Where can you improve it?
When you’re told the time isn’t right, put it to one side. In two year’s time, you might see suitable callouts for it.
10. Most creatives do other jobs to keep them going in the industry.
Don’t be embarrassed about this. You might not like a particular job but it pays the bills and enables you to continue making art which is the objective.
Never put all your eggs in one basket.
11. When you’ve gotten back on the horse a few times, you’ll get better at it.
The more you grow, the bigger the rejections are. Consciously, work on building resilience early in your career.
Successful people know well how to deal with rejection.
12. Social media is only one side of the story.
Seeing other people do well when you’re not, is really tough. People are just trying to promote themselves, as they should. Understand that.
Remember that the people you’re seeing on Instagram are encountering the same difficulties as you; they’re just not advertising it. People don’t publish their rejection letters.
Take a break from social media when you get rejected, it’ll make you feel better.
Remove what doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. If you’re not feeling good about yourself, you’re not in peak creativity.
13. Never do two different creative projects in the same day.
It will mess your head up.
14. Start a peer whatsapp group among 8-ish people in your industry.
This is a place where you discuss rejection and you can get support – very important if you’re in an isolated job. Being a creative is often an isolating job.
Every so often, do a brainstorm on a group member’s project. E.g. read one person’s script.
Set the group up with people you trust who are constructive. Don’t spend time with people who don’t make you feel good.
