Photo by Zena O’Brien
I’ve always been my biggest critic and I’ve always gotten in my way. I think it’s a confidence thing and “imposter syndrome”. Whenever I get asked to do anything I say, “No, I can’t do that.” Immediately it’s in my head that I’m not good enough. I thought it would get better as I got more experience but it doesn’t matter, it’s always in the back of my head.
Just for go for it
Last summer I got asked by my local Wexford ArtsCentre to be a presenter and host a big series of gigs for six weeks. Immediately I was like, “No, I cannot do that”. I cannot speak in general – you’d know from speaking to me that I’m not good at speaking – but they convinced me and I said, “OK, feck it, I’ll just go for it”.
It was five or six weeks of me having to get up there and introduce people and hold the microphone instead of hiding behind a piano and it was terrifying but it was also brilliant because I did it and I didn’t think I could. After that I felt like I could do anything. You know when you overcome that thing that you’ve been so worried about? I was thinking, “Awh what was the big deal? Why was I so worried about it?” I think it’s a good mindset to have going into anything: even if you don’t know what you’re doing, just go for it.
Gavin Glass >>View Video>>
I’m recording an album at the moment which is taking up a lot of time. It’s really exciting. I’m working with Gavin Glass. He’s down in Curracloe now so it’s been an unreal experience and I can’t wait for everyone to hear the album.
“Imposter syndrome” is in every aspect of my life, I remember the first week we recorded. We did a live band recording so everybody was in the studio. I think it was the third day we had done around 20 hours and we couldn’t figure out how to hack this one part in the song and make it sound good.
I was just there in the little booth by myself thinking, “Oh my god this song is so crap, this is all my fault, everybody’s going to hate me and everybody’s going to be disappointed in me”. Gavin the producer could just tell that there was something up and he said, “You’re amazing, everybody’s here for you, they’re here because they believe in you.”
You just need one person who says you’re on the right track and who believes in you enough to make you believe in yourself.
Reflection >>View Video>>
It’s really important for me to reflect on everything that I’ve done because two years ago I didn’t think I would have done half of it. It puts things into perspective a little bit.
I’m aiming for releasing the album next April, no name yet, so I’m open to suggestions!
Remember, if you’re a member of the Irish music industry, you can talk to a counsellor free of charge at any time of the day or night. Simply call the phone number below.