A bit shy >>View Video >>
I get so anxious and stressed about releasing music that a lot of the time I question whether it’s worth doing it at all.
It gets a bit overwhelming maybe because I’m probably a bit over sensitive or a bit shy, it’s the act of actually putting music out and having to deal with the industry side of things and the social media side of things, all that kind of stuff is something I find quite difficult. It’s a massive part of making music really. It’s effectively half of the work you’re doing. I’ve always gotten very anxious doing that. Emailing everybody about the release, all this stuff you’re trying to prepare and you’re like, “Awh nobody’s going to have any interest in this” and “nobody’s gonna like it”, those sorts of thoughts going through your head. It always makes me question why I’m doing what I’m doing which is not great but it’s always been the way. I’m 35 now, I’ve been doing this since I was 20, it doesn’t seem like it’s something that’s going to change. I’m sure everybody gets it a little bit but I’d say it’s somewhat personal to my own situation.
Unhealthy >>View Video >>
I think sometimes one of the unhealthy things about being a musician or an artist is your sense of self becomes very wound up with the work you’re doing and then when it comes to putting that out… I guess it can bring up a lot of mixed emotions.
Control >>View Video >>
The music, I suppose, keeps you going, the process of making the music is hard enough but that’s something I always feel like I can control.I’ll get very, very down on myself while I’m making music if it’s not going well but at least I know, “OK this is something I can control, I can work, I can fix this” and usually you can and you sign off when you’re ready. I feel like that’s something I totally have in my control whereas when it comes to the other kind of stuff, it’s like this whole other world that frankly terrifies me.
Dodgy online hypnosis >>View Video >>
I remember around the time that my Dad died I was in a really bad place and I was into these really dodgy online hypnosis things just by Googling. At the time it was like seven years ago, I wouldn’t have considered really talking to someone so I was just Googling this stuff and probably did feel a little bit ashamed of the idea of needing to do that.
I remember downloading these… God they were really tawdry self-help hypnosis things; the only thing they did help with was actually getting me to sleep so they weren’t completely useless. I still use them to get to sleep, that’s been a staple now.
I use YouTube and type in “sleep” and “ASMR” to see what they come up with. There’s one I like which is like a space journey. It actually tells you the history; it starts with the big bang and tells you the history of the world effectively. That’s one I like, I go back to that a lot, it’s on YouTube.
I’d say I’ve been one of the lucky people, I actually got a grant early on from the Arts Council and that kept me ticking over especially through the first lockdown and into the summer. I’ve been busy working on stuff. I consider myself being quite lucky because I know other people who are maybe a bit more reliant on live gigs and it’s been very tough for them.
The release I got the Arts Council grant for, I didn’t feel that it was a high pressure thing. For starters I hadn’t just pumped all my own money into making it so I didn’t feel as much pressure.
Badhands – Oceans is the name of the EP out now, it’s free to download on Bandcamp.
I’m working on a new Badhands album and I’ve also started work on another project with Andrsen. I’ll have a new single and video to release around February.
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